What makes them Anxiety or Panic Attacks
Before I begin, I’ll do a quick reminder of what they are or you can click on the links above..
Although Anxiety is a natural defense and response to danger. It’s also a natural alarm that goes off when you feel threatened and unfamiliar of the situation or place you’re at… or when you are feeling a psychological remembrance to an area you’re at or based on a traumatic situation that reminds you of another that you’ve experienced and made you go on high alert. Anyone could experience this. So it brings the question of… when does it turn into a disorder? well the site I linked nonstop in this post, explains it perfectly. It says in the help guide that it becomes an disorder when
anxiety is constant or overwhelming—when it interferes with your relationships and activities—that’s when you’ve crossed the line from normal anxiety into the territory of anxiety disorders
Keep in mind that Anxiety Disorders are also…
a group of related conditions rather than a single disorder, they can look very different from person to person. One individual may suffer from intense anxiety attacks that strike without warning, while another gets panicky at the thought of mingling at a party. Someone else may struggle with a disabling fear of driving, or uncontrollable, intrusive thoughts. Yet another may live in a constant state of tension, worrying about anything and everything.
(The last part is me.. I was born anxious. So being tense is a natural trait of me at times lol)
Anxiety attacks are episodes of intense panic or fear. Anxiety attacks usually occur suddenly and sometimes without any warning. Other times there could be obvious triggers like interviews, meetings, etc. It usually happens and gets intense within 10 minutes but it rarely lasts for more than 30 minutes. But during that short time, the terror can be so severe that you feel as if you’re about to die or totally lose control. Some says it feels like getting a heart attack. But for me it only feels like my stomach is getting twisted in the knot and being pulled out of my throat.
Meanwhile Panic Attacks is a fear based stress and..
Before all of this…
the symptoms, the diagnosis, the attacks…
I was quire normal… just shy and maybe a touch of paranoia. I loved exploring. Though I lacked the funds to do so but it used to never stopped me. I’d call up a friend and we just go take a walk and talk. Days I do have the money to.. I went to cafes alone or bookstores because they are heaven to me. I just read or wrote in my journal whilst drinking a nice sweet drink as an incentive. But I admit most times, it was the reason why I went out and I’d award myself with another before I leave.
Most days now…
I sstill go out…ish… at least for sure with company.
However..in going alone..it’s a problem. I mean I still go out and my reasoning or reward was to get that Starbucks or a whatever I’m deathly craving that’s near by.
But as much as I hate it, I hate going out alone now. But even with someone/support… I’m happy to be with them, but depending where we go..I loathe it. My reason?.. People. Crowds. I get panic or anxiety attacks now when I am in large crowds. Especially passing people, I get into a fight or flight mode which I sadly can’t control. And so, I think because of that, it is my reason why my agoraphobia got worse.
I FEAR getting an attack outside. My attacks are physical. I would have symptoms of queasiness and nearly passing out. Alhough, my body may be reacting like this, my brain would be like saying “Don’t look at me~ I didn’t say anything this time.. I just wanted to __ with you”. So yeah.. it’s really messed up and weird. I’d feel fine, excited to explore and go wherever I was supposed to; but then all of a sudden, hello sickness. And I’d have to rush home or I vomit and lose feelings in my legs and sight.
It’s hard because, I’d love to go see my psychiatrist or my specialist for my migraines but it’s hard because a lot of times, I’d cancel last minute because my uneasy feeling(anxieties) and fear of it starting again comes again. The anxieties would start from three or two days before I start freaking out..officially. And worse thing is, when I go… I would be a clusterfuck..(pardon my language) because I’d be forgetting my route though I been going to this hospital for months now and when I’m there I’d be only thinking about being away from crowds/people and so whatever relevant questions that is asked to me or that I wanted to ask… and that’s important in why I’m there is just..forgotten. I can’t answer it nor can I ask to tell any concerns or how I’ve been feeling.
Turns out to be more like “nearly fainting” according to my specialist.
I feel relieved after bit but a bit disappointed I want to know why this happens and I feel like it’s more than anxiety and depression.